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Does Anna Wintour have bedbugs?

Posted: September 22nd, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Probably not, for even the littlest creatures of nature can be scolded out of existence or implode within her withering stare.  However, she meets the criteria of many a less formidable person: living in New York City, traveling, and being fond of clothes.  Bedbugs are a horror for anyone who has them, but they are particularly virulent for the clothes-horse.  When I hear of friends bagging up and having all of their clothes cleaned, I feel faint when considering the effort and price tag implied by my ponderous collection that struggles to be contained within two wardrobes, a large closet, and several dressers.

Bedbugs have hit the fashion world, having been found at many retail outlets including Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch (“fashion” does not always mean “good fashion”), Victoria’s Secret and Niketown.  Some, like Bergdorf Goodman, have employed bedbug sniffing beagles as a precaution and preventative measure.  After all, if you wait until you can see them to call the exterminator, then you really have a Problem.  Unlike most hotels, many shops are not doing this, as even the appearance of concern is enough to set tongues wagging, garnering negative press.  The plague house emblem on your door.  Retailers have been tight lipped about any strategies they may or may not have to protect their customers.

We recommend a healthy inspection along the seams of any garment you plan to buy.  Keep your new duds sealed in a bag in the freezer for several days or throw in the dryer (about 10-20 minutes set on medium to high heat ought to do it: you want at least 120°F) before integrating with the rest of your clothes. This goes for shoes and some bags too, and it should be reasonably safe for dry-clean only clothing items as long as they were not wet in the first place.  This is all especially important if you are shopping second-hand.  Avoid “dollar-a-pound” clothing dumps altogether.  It is a new era, and lord knows what could be crawling around in there.

4 Comments on “Does Anna Wintour have bedbugs?”

  1. 1 Desperate and quite possibly serious said at 4:54 pm on September 22nd, 2010:

    “lord knows what could be crawling around in there.”

    Why did that immediately make me think of K$sha?

    I can’t help but think that someone getting bedbugs at Abercrombie is pure karma, but I guess I shouldn’t wish this on anyone. You’d think the stench of the perfume they use would kill the damn things.

  2. 2 HJM said at 5:08 pm on September 22nd, 2010:

    I would very much not want to be infested with a Ke$ha, either. That’s like a filthy parasite wrapped in an STD surrounded by a mystery.

  3. 3 HBK said at 5:56 pm on September 22nd, 2010:

    And I imagine the mystery is wet and slimy and leaves a trail.

    Hmm, can Ke$ha be treated with diatomaceous earth?

  4. 4 Pashmina said at 8:28 pm on September 22nd, 2010:

    Noooooo! I have a constitutional right to volume-purchased clothing!

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