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Ain’t no party like a bedbug party

Posted: November 2nd, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , | 4 Comments »

From rally to restore fear/sanity

Now that’s what we’re talking about, America. Elect bedbugs the scourge of the nation! I’m not sure what chickens have to do with bedbugs, but can you imagine if they started helping them somehow?

This has been www.nixbedbugs.com. Election Day Edition.



Bespoke Bedbugs

Posted: October 27th, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Wow. Looks like you can advertise your sexy bedbug-free status wherever you go!

Bedbug Free Sweatshirt

Bedbug Free Hat

Bedbug Free Mug

Bedbug Tie

I don’t know. They are cute, but what would Anna Wintour do?



Weekly Link Rodeo, 10/27/2010: Solipsism Edition

Posted: October 27th, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , , , , , , , | No Comments »

This link rodeo gig was supposed to be a relaxing Saturday kind of thing, but we’ve encountered a little continental drift. I was gone last weekend too, but don’t worry, we never stop thinking about bedbugs! If you found yourself hanging around just gagging for updates, consider interning.

Desperately Seeking Bedbugs [via Nixbedbugs.com, as is everything else in this post]

My girl HJM and I searched Greenpoint high and low, looking for bedbugs. We even donned nurse uniforms to make it more official. We brandished clipboards and looked through magnifying glasses. Well, bedbugs are not swayed by trappings of authority. We checked every stray mattress, couch cushion, and jacket on the side of the street, from Manhattan Ave to the river banks. We found innumerable scraps of refuse and even human excrement, but no bedbugs.

So that was a disappointment. We have an important science project in mind, so we placed a Craigslist ad. While it didn’t get immediately deleted, no one has stepped up to offer us a bedbug either. I guess we’ll keep trying. I think JRN will look up from writing Science Corners and have a heart attack and ban us from visiting when we succeed.

THIS JUST IN, and we have zero confirmation, but I hear all the bedbugs are dressing as Snooki for Halloween.

While I was in Brooklyn, I trod near the ground where my own father experienced bedbugs 70 years ago. This was our most popular entry last week, and I think you will enjoy it, too! Sadly, I didn’t see a bedbug in Park Slope either. Just miles of beards and plaid. It’s like Christo is working in facial hair these days.

We wrote some great real information on freezing bedbugs and the perils of DIY extermination, but we know you’re all just here for the Ke$ha.



Everybody Hates Bedbugs

Posted: October 22nd, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Via The Onion, Cockroach King Concerned Over Recent Rise of Bedbugs

His Royal Highness, King Leopold Blattodea IV, undisputed lord and ruler of the cockroaches, expressed dismay and concern Monday that the recent rise in bedbug populations could threaten his sovereignty over the realm of human squalor.

“For centuries, the woodwork and drainpipes of the world have been the unassailed domain of we roaches. Exterminators were powerless to stop us. Humans shrieked at the sight of us. But now this meddlesome bedbug has inspired tenfold the terror.”

How must the termites be feeling? The ear whigs, the camel crickets, the ticks and the fleas. It’s true, everyone is Gaga for bedbugs.

Bedbugs rejoined:

“Your petty machinations are useless,” read the message scrawled in human blood. “Soon our numbers will grow so vast that mankind will be too terrified to step into a movie theater, sit on a friend’s sofa, or check out books from the library. Forget not, we can survive without food for up to 18 months! Surrender now and return to the tropical, woody areas that birthed you. The future of the cities is now, my friends. We are the future.”

We are left with lingering questions. What DOES Lady Gaga think of bedbugs? We know Ke$ha was finally appointed their official spokesperson. So there’s that.

Ke$ha



Celebrity skin

Posted: October 5th, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

By now we’ve all heard that Howard Stern fell victim to bedbugs at work in the Sirius offices and in his own limo. Stern is not one to shy away from discussions of the vile and unseemly, bless his heart. It ain’t no thing, and he’s got people to take care of those things, although we hope the chemical fumigation of the limo managed to kill any lingering nymphs and instars as well as the mature bedbugs.

Allegedly, Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper recently had to ditch a swanky mattress over bedbugs, but the source on this one seems a little shaky. But it is certainly plausible. Celebrities frequently travel for work, and these days it seems like only a matter of time until a bedbug clings on to the bottom of your Louboutins and follows you home. You should always perform visual inspections when you travel, even in first class.

Back in 2006, Saturday Night Live star Maya Rudolph and her husband, director Paul Anderson, were forced to flee a $13,000 per month luxury rental loft in SoHo. They sued the property and owner for $450,000, claiming they were bitten within days of moving in. When an exterminator arrived, he apparently told them to clear out for a bit to keep their baby safe, and that was enough for them. One might expect a pest-free apartment for $13,000 per month.

Opera singer Alison Trainer was a bedbug victim during a hotel stay, and she filed a lawsuit for $6 million against Hilton Hotels. “She looks like a piece of wood that has been attacked by termites,” said Trainer’s attorney, Kenneth J. Glassman.

But let’s get to what we really want to talk about: which celebrities look like they should be harboring bedbugs already? Sure, bedbugs are equal opportunity little pests, but let’s say you were on Family Feud, and you had to spit out the first suspect luminary that popped into your head or risk the wrath of your grandmother, who is played by Betty White in this delusion? Would your list go a little like this?

Ke$ha

Lindsay Lohan

Pete Doherty

Courtney Love

Joaquin Phoenix’s beard, tied with Britney’s weave

Spencer Pratt

Tila Tequila

Russell Brand

Insane Clown Posse



Weekly Bedbug Link Rodeo

Posted: October 2nd, 2010 | Author: | | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Bookies Pick the Four Seasons as Next Bedbug Strike [via the Village Voice]

Someone had to do it. “Unfortunately, what they didn’t anticipate was how easily this bet could be fixed….” Yikes.

Barack says WHAT?Bedbugs Found in Federal Government Building in D.C.
[via Fox News]

Yup, bedbugs have infiltrated yet another workplace: the US Agency for International Development at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. Employees have been notified, skeeved out. Perplexingly, Fox News somehow managed to omit the fact that Barack Obama himself brought back the bedbugs from his Kenyan birthplace.

Woman Sleeps on Balcony to Escape Bedbugs [via Toronto Sun]

Now that sucks for Lori Howard. “Despite showering several times a night, changing clothes in her bathtub after neighbours warned they could see her disrobing outside, plus bug killer building staff applied, “they’re still there.””

It’s Not You, It’s Your Bedbugs [via WSJ.com]

Paranoia, the destroyer. It’s true, WebMD can get anyone feeling itchy. Though the article is satire, we at Nix Bedbugs still fear it’s only a matter of time before national news relays an unfortunate serious mental health incident, such as a bedbug-caused suicide or self injury.

9 Ways to Get Rid of Bed Bugs [via Cracked.com]

“…while waking up with tiny little bites is very trendy, it is also possibly the single most distressing non-Ke$ha-related-thing ever.” Hear, hear! Another funny. If we don’t laugh, we’d be crying.

Riled bedbugs hinder effort to fight house fire [via Denverpost.com]

File under: you know you have problems when… “The pesky bedbugs, animated by the fire, sought refuge on firefighters, latching onto equipment and gear. Firefighters had to guard against bringing the bugs back to their firehouse.”

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